Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on October 9, 2019
Blaming yourself for your relationship’s failure to thrive is the most painful type of regret. Beating yourself for losing someone’s love is true agony. But more often than not, we do this when we’re dealing with a breakup. People often blame themselves for breakups, believing that their insecurity is what drove their partner away. Another … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Heart Break
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Tags: Abandonment, blame, breakup, divorce, getting over heartbreak, healing, heartbreak, life, love, love yourself, mental health, recovery, relationships, self-blame, selfesteem, unworthiness
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2 comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 28, 2019
Abandonment Recovery is an innovation in mental health. We are happy to make the methods available to all of you – they make healing possible, not just from a recent heartbreak, but from your old abandonment wounds as well – the ones that have been festering just beneath the surface, eroding your self esteem and interfering … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery
| Tags: Abandonment, best life, grief, mental health, outer child, PTSD, recovery, relationships, romance, self esteem, self sabotage, therapy, Trauma, wellness, workshop
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 13, 2019
I think we’re more vulnerable than we used to be, especially young people whose self image is just forming and are impressionable by what other people think. Transcript: Social media triggers abandonment. You know, that feeling of not having the life that everyone else seems to be having or not being liked as many…as much … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage
| Tags: Abandonment, facebook, friendships, growing up, image, instagram, love yourself, millenials, relationships, self care, self esteem, self image, self-love, social media, twitter, youth
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 7, 2019
At one of my three-day workshops (at Breitenbush Hot Springs in Oregon – beautiful place!), one of the participants said he played the caretaker role in his relationship. He’d hoped that attending to her needs might insure that she would never want to ever leave him because he’d made himself so very valuable in her … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, healing from abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, beauty, breakup, caretaker, divorce, emotionally unavailable, grief, healing, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships, selfcare, selfesteem, stability, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on July 30, 2019
Men are just as vulnerable to the abandonment wound as women. Men have the same reaction; there’s no limit to what men experience. It brings them to their knees the same way it does to a woman. Watch this video to learn more: Transcript: Interviewer: Susan do you feel like men have the same response … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: Abandonment, broken hearted, healing, heartache, life, love, men, men and women, mental health, recovery, relationships
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on July 22, 2019
We all have an Outer Child – a hidden nemesis that is always interfering in our best-laid plans – especially when we’re trying to advance. Outer Child is the part of your personality that acts out in self-defeating patterns – that puts its foot in your mouth at a business meeting, breaks your diet, and gets attracted … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Relationships, taming your outer child, Workplace
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment fear, adulthood, career, emotions, feelings, life, love, mental health, outerchild, relationships, selfcare, selfesteem, selflove, wellness, workplace
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on June 20, 2019
Someone wrote in and asked, “Is separation anxiety related to abandonment?” “Oh yes,” I resounded. Separation anxiety is the basis for all emotional distress – anxiety, depression, insecurity-in-relationships, fear-of-loss. Abandonment feelings trigger separation anxiety and separation anxiety trigger abandonment feelings. Let’s say you walk into a restaurant with your friends and you suddenly see your … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment issues, aloneness, anxiety, childhood trauma, fear, heartbreak, how to raise self esteem, love, mental health, recovery, relationships, selfcare, separation anxiety
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on June 12, 2019
One of the major reasons heartbreak hurts so much is the lack of closure. Sometimes remaining friends with your ex offers the opportunity to maintain a dialogue in which a greater understanding about the issues leading to the breakup can be exchanged. Other times, contact with an ex can prolong the pain and delay closure. … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery, heartbreak
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, best life, divorce, grief, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships, self esteem
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on June 4, 2019
Getting ready for summer, I am doing daily dialogues with my outer child. I’m wondering if using this self awareness tool (outer child) might help some of you also. What is outer child, you ask? Well, you’ve already met your inner child. But whereas your inner child is all about feelings, Outer is all about … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, adult, adulting, anxiety, best life, growing up, health, innerchild, love, mentalhealth, outerchild, relationships, selfesteem, therapy, wellness, workbooks, workshops
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 15, 2019
Do you know someone who stays in a bad relationship? What hooks them? The standard answer is that they don’t feel good enough about themselves. They don’t feel they deserve better. They have a low sense of entitlement. While self esteem is certainly a factor, many of these people started out feeling much better about … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: abuser, bad relationships, divorce, healing, health, insecure, love, mental health, pavlov, recovery, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 6, 2019
When someone rejects you they acquire power in your mind. They acquire power due to their ability to inflict pain. The more they hurt you the harder it is to let go. This is the painful paradox of abandonment. “Why does it take so long to get over it?” people ask. Those suffering from rejection … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Divorce, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, divorce, friendship, healing, heartbreak, higher self, love, mental health, rejection, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 3, 2019
Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions – loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness – that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Fortunately, we don’t have to suffer from abandonment pain for the … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Relationships, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment issues, Emotional Crisis, healing, heartbreak, helplessness, hope, life, love, mentalhealth, relationships, surviving a breakup, therapy, wellness
| 2 comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 2, 2019
Transcript: I think social media can really have a devastating impact on a person’sself-image. And young people, I think, are especially vulnerable to worrying about how they fit in and how well accepted they are and how many other people like them and how they’re doing in comparison to how everyone else seems to be … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, anxiety, how to overcome self sabotage, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, anxiety, friendships, life, millenials, relationships, self esteem, self image, social media, youth
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 2, 2019
Do you have a commitment-phobic partner? You’re in a committed relationship. Or so you thought. But do you get the feeling that one of you is hedging your bets? Does your mate still act as if he or she is interested in meeting new people? You can sometimes suspect that your partner is still open … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Heart Break
| Tags: Abandonment, commitment, committment, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 25, 2017
You don’t need to change something all the way to make a huge difference in your life. You don’t have to go all the way from being codependent to being non-codependent, or from low self-esteem to high self-esteem. You need only to be in the process of improving it – even if progress is slow … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, healing from abandonment, how to overcome self sabotage, Relationships, Self Esteem
| Tags: friendships, how to raise self esteem, HuffPost, relationships, self esteem
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on April 10, 2017
My social media team, who devotedly administrates my pages, suggested that we come up with a list of “best quotes” – bite size insights – that you have strongly responded to. Thank you all for offering thoughtful comments, sharing your personal stories and struggles, and sharing our words with your own family and friends. Live … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, healing from abandonment, how to overcome self sabotage, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, best life, loneliness, relationships, self esteem, self-love, selfcare
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on February 27, 2017
Susan Anderson © March 2017 Download the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”11″] Please see my comments at the end of item # 40. An intense fear of abandonment. Difficulty forming primary relationships. Intrusive insecurity that interferes in your love life, social life and goal achievement. A tendency to repeatedly subject yourself to people or … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, PTSD, ptsd and abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, anxiety, Insecurity, post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment, PTSD, relationships, self esteem
| 3 comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on December 15, 2016
© Susan Anderson December 15 2016 I’ve been developing a profile of an abandoner for almost twenty years, collecting stories and insights from abandonment survivors from all over the world – from people writing to my website and attending my workshops, as well as friends, colleagues, and from my own experiences. Is there a profile … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anorexia, anxiety, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, heartbreak, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, healing, love, relationships
| 1 comment
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on November 30, 2016
Healing abandonment involves summoning your creative energy. Your task is to create positive gains from adversity, growth in the place of woundedness. Whether you are struggling through a painful breakup, triggered by childhood issues that impinge in your life, fired from a job, feeling dismissed by a friend, or isolated because you can’t seem to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, breakup, childhood issues, creativity, healing, huffington post, relationships
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on November 4, 2016
The human condition The fear of abandonment is primal and universal to human experience, the crux of the human condition. We all have it. That’s why I write about it so much. Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that it’s better to deal with our abandonment fear, know when it rears its head, than try to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recover, Emotional Crisis, healing, huffington post, love, mental health, positive change, relationships
| No comments
