Posts belonging to Category Abandonment
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on April 19, 2022
Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd
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2 comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on April 12, 2021
Most of the time I feel like the Pied Piper of abandonment. Thousands of people have written their painful and agonizing abandonment scenarios to me through this website and Facebook. You’d think that over the years I would grow immune to feeling empathy for the pain they describe, but I read these things with amazement … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on October 26, 2020
Primal fears seep out of your Childhood abandonment wounds and traumas. Outer Child has a field day acting them out. Download the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”7″] Our current abandonment fears are cumulative, reaching all the way back into our long lost childhoods. The abandonment wound is universal and consists of all of the little … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Outer Child
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on March 19, 2020
Dealing with isolation during COVID-19 is not the same for everyone. Here in New York, we are self-quarantining, and many are feeling their isolation. I’ve been getting similar feedback from you. Are you self-quarantining? What is it like where you are? How are you doing? How are your loved ones doing? We are all so … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment
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Tags: coronavirus, covid19, quarantine, selfisolation, socialdistancing
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on February 3, 2020
Download the PDF version here: [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”12″] We all have shame. It’s part of the human condition. Some of us are more shackled by it than others. We can consider shame to be traumatic when it has an ongoing impact on how we feel about ourselves and function in the world. Shame works silently … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: shame
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on October 9, 2019
Blaming yourself for your relationship’s failure to thrive is the most painful type of regret. Beating yourself for losing someone’s love is true agony. But more often than not, we do this when we’re dealing with a breakup. People often blame themselves for breakups, believing that their insecurity is what drove their partner away. Another … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Heart Break
| Tags: Abandonment, blame, breakup, divorce, getting over heartbreak, healing, heartbreak, life, love, love yourself, mental health, recovery, relationships, self-blame, selfesteem, unworthiness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 19, 2019
Are you attached to someone who doesn’t seem as committed as you are? Is there a lack of commitment in the relationship? Maybe they’re giving you double messages, keeping you at arm’s length, or pulling away when you try to get closer. Whatever the signs, your fear of abandonment has been triggered and you want … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, Divorce, Falling in love, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, heartbreak, how to raise self esteem, love, mental health, mental health awareness, recovery, romance, self sabotage, selfcare, selfesteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 13, 2019
I think we’re more vulnerable than we used to be, especially young people whose self image is just forming and are impressionable by what other people think. Transcript: Social media triggers abandonment. You know, that feeling of not having the life that everyone else seems to be having or not being liked as many…as much … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage
| Tags: Abandonment, facebook, friendships, growing up, image, instagram, love yourself, millenials, relationships, self care, self esteem, self image, self-love, social media, twitter, youth
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 7, 2019
At one of my three-day workshops (at Breitenbush Hot Springs in Oregon – beautiful place!), one of the participants said he played the caretaker role in his relationship. He’d hoped that attending to her needs might insure that she would never want to ever leave him because he’d made himself so very valuable in her … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, healing from abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, beauty, breakup, caretaker, divorce, emotionally unavailable, grief, healing, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships, selfcare, selfesteem, stability, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on July 30, 2019
Men are just as vulnerable to the abandonment wound as women. Men have the same reaction; there’s no limit to what men experience. It brings them to their knees the same way it does to a woman. Watch this video to learn more: Transcript: Interviewer: Susan do you feel like men have the same response … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: Abandonment, broken hearted, healing, heartache, life, love, men, men and women, mental health, recovery, relationships
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on July 22, 2019
We all have an Outer Child – a hidden nemesis that is always interfering in our best-laid plans – especially when we’re trying to advance. Outer Child is the part of your personality that acts out in self-defeating patterns – that puts its foot in your mouth at a business meeting, breaks your diet, and gets attracted … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Relationships, taming your outer child, Workplace
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment fear, adulthood, career, emotions, feelings, life, love, mental health, outerchild, relationships, selfcare, selfesteem, selflove, wellness, workplace
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on July 8, 2019
There’s nothing worse than being suddenly beset with intense anxiety and panic. It’s an emotional hijack — a hostile takeover by the fear center of your brain. The part of you that is usually reasonable and self-reassuring has been momentarily knocked out of commission. You feel out of control, helpless, demoralized by the emotional excesses … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, how to overcome self sabotage, ptsd and abandonment, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment issues, anxiety, depression, healing, meditation, mental health, panic, selfcare, selflove, workshops
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on June 20, 2019
Someone wrote in and asked, “Is separation anxiety related to abandonment?” “Oh yes,” I resounded. Separation anxiety is the basis for all emotional distress – anxiety, depression, insecurity-in-relationships, fear-of-loss. Abandonment feelings trigger separation anxiety and separation anxiety trigger abandonment feelings. Let’s say you walk into a restaurant with your friends and you suddenly see your … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment issues, aloneness, anxiety, childhood trauma, fear, heartbreak, how to raise self esteem, love, mental health, recovery, relationships, selfcare, separation anxiety
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on June 4, 2019
Getting ready for summer, I am doing daily dialogues with my outer child. I’m wondering if using this self awareness tool (outer child) might help some of you also. What is outer child, you ask? Well, you’ve already met your inner child. But whereas your inner child is all about feelings, Outer is all about … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, adult, adulting, anxiety, best life, growing up, health, innerchild, love, mentalhealth, outerchild, relationships, selfesteem, therapy, wellness, workbooks, workshops
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 22, 2019
AKeRU is a Japanese word that means “to pierce, to end, to begin.” AKeRU is the name I’ve given to the five hands-on mental exercises that turn the pain of an ending into the beginning of positive change. AKeRU makes its debut in both JOURNEY books. AKeRU works with the natural flow of life process, … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, healing from abandonment, heartbreak
| Tags: Abandonment, akeru, begin again, best life, healing, journey, life, loveyourself, mental health, mentalhealthawareness, rebirth, self care, self esteem, starting over, tattoo, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 15, 2019
Do you know someone who stays in a bad relationship? What hooks them? The standard answer is that they don’t feel good enough about themselves. They don’t feel they deserve better. They have a low sense of entitlement. While self esteem is certainly a factor, many of these people started out feeling much better about … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: abuser, bad relationships, divorce, healing, health, insecure, love, mental health, pavlov, recovery, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 6, 2019
When someone rejects you they acquire power in your mind. They acquire power due to their ability to inflict pain. The more they hurt you the harder it is to let go. This is the painful paradox of abandonment. “Why does it take so long to get over it?” people ask. Those suffering from rejection … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Divorce, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, divorce, friendship, healing, heartbreak, higher self, love, mental health, rejection, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 3, 2019
Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions – loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness – that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Fortunately, we don’t have to suffer from abandonment pain for the … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Relationships, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment issues, Emotional Crisis, healing, heartbreak, helplessness, hope, life, love, mentalhealth, relationships, surviving a breakup, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 2, 2019
Transcript: I think social media can really have a devastating impact on a person’sself-image. And young people, I think, are especially vulnerable to worrying about how they fit in and how well accepted they are and how many other people like them and how they’re doing in comparison to how everyone else seems to be … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, anxiety, how to overcome self sabotage, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, anxiety, friendships, life, millenials, relationships, self esteem, self image, social media, youth
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 2, 2019
Do you have a commitment-phobic partner? You’re in a committed relationship. Or so you thought. But do you get the feeling that one of you is hedging your bets? Does your mate still act as if he or she is interested in meeting new people? You can sometimes suspect that your partner is still open … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Heart Break
| Tags: Abandonment, commitment, committment, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships
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