Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on October 9, 2019
Blaming yourself for your relationship’s failure to thrive is the most painful type of regret. Beating yourself for losing someone’s love is true agony. But more often than not, we do this when we’re dealing with a breakup. People often blame themselves for breakups, believing that their insecurity is what drove their partner away. Another … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Heart Break
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Tags: Abandonment, blame, breakup, divorce, getting over heartbreak, healing, heartbreak, life, love, love yourself, mental health, recovery, relationships, self-blame, selfesteem, unworthiness
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2 comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on August 7, 2019
At one of my three-day workshops (at Breitenbush Hot Springs in Oregon – beautiful place!), one of the participants said he played the caretaker role in his relationship. He’d hoped that attending to her needs might insure that she would never want to ever leave him because he’d made himself so very valuable in her … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, healing from abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, beauty, breakup, caretaker, divorce, emotionally unavailable, grief, healing, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships, selfcare, selfesteem, stability, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on June 12, 2019
One of the major reasons heartbreak hurts so much is the lack of closure. Sometimes remaining friends with your ex offers the opportunity to maintain a dialogue in which a greater understanding about the issues leading to the breakup can be exchanged. Other times, contact with an ex can prolong the pain and delay closure. … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery, heartbreak
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, best life, divorce, grief, heartbreak, love, mental health, relationships, self esteem
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 15, 2019
Do you know someone who stays in a bad relationship? What hooks them? The standard answer is that they don’t feel good enough about themselves. They don’t feel they deserve better. They have a low sense of entitlement. While self esteem is certainly a factor, many of these people started out feeling much better about … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery
| Tags: abuser, bad relationships, divorce, healing, health, insecure, love, mental health, pavlov, recovery, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on May 6, 2019
When someone rejects you they acquire power in your mind. They acquire power due to their ability to inflict pain. The more they hurt you the harder it is to let go. This is the painful paradox of abandonment. “Why does it take so long to get over it?” people ask. Those suffering from rejection … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Divorce, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, divorce, friendship, healing, heartbreak, higher self, love, mental health, rejection, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Posted by Admin on April 24, 2015
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD of Abandonment There is a significant overlap between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment (PTSD of Abandonment). In attempting to distinguish them, we are met with a lot of fine lines and nebula. Since there is a stigma attached to BPD, defining the difference … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, divorce, heartbreak, Insecurity, outer child, relationships, self sabotage, Trauma
| 5 comments
Posted by Admin on March 3, 2014
Overcoming the Trauma of Abandonment Abandonment has its own kind of grief trauma – a powerful grief universal to human beings. The grief can be acute – as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic – as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. The natural folds in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anger, divorce, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, relationships, separation
| 7 comments
Posted by Admin on November 19, 2013
Causes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment Part Two There is a difference between Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The difference is that the latter involves post traumatic symptoms that are enduring. Some people are more prone to the disorder than others. Why do some people who go … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, PTSD
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, PTSD, relationships, self sabotage, Trauma
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on November 7, 2013
Millions of people are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do they keep repeating the same patterns over and over? What can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone and unfulfilled because you keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, you suddenly feel … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, patterns, relationships, romance, self sabotage, stuck, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on September 28, 2013
Self sabotage is the residual of unresolved abandonment. Its lingering insecurity and self doubt cause us to forfeit our long range goals. What about you? Do you sabotage your relationships? Your diet? Your career? Your bank account? These are among the ways, large and small, that people abandon themselves. By abandoning our most important dreams … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on August 19, 2013
Abandonment is our first fear. It is primal and universal to all human beings. Abandonment is the special element that makes loss of a job, separation, bereavement and divorce so painful. Abandonment is that feeling of being left on the doorstep – of feeling left behind. The upheaval of divorce is considerable. There is the … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| No comments
