An astute client of mine coined an expression the other night: SECOND DATE REVULSION. She was referring to a few disappointments she’d had recently in the dating world, and in a phrase, managed to capture a syndrome plaguing the love-lives of millions of people. You feel some chemistry when you start seeing someone. It builds … read the full article
Categories: Outer Child
| 
No comments
We all know people who are stuck in patterns. They’re alone and unfulfilled because they keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, they push him or her away because they feel no attraction. Their lives are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do we keep repeating the same patterns … read the full article
Categories: Outer Child, Relationships, taming your outer child
| 4 comments
Is your Outer Child a clutterer? Do you want to develop neater habits? Become more orderly? Would you like to purge your home and overstuffed schedule of unnecessary things? This chapter will help you declutter your life. Download the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”8″] If you’re a garden variety clutterer – you might have clothes that need putting … read the full article
Categories: Outer Child, Self Sabotage
| No comments
Primal fears seep out of your Childhood abandonment wounds and traumas. Outer Child has a field day acting them out. Download the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”7″] Our current abandonment fears are cumulative, reaching all the way back into our long lost childhoods. The abandonment wound is universal and consists of all of the little … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Outer Child
| 4 comments
Getting ready for summer, I am doing daily dialogues with my outer child. I’m wondering if using this self awareness tool (outer child) might help some of you also. What is outer child, you ask? Well, you’ve already met your inner child. But whereas your inner child is all about feelings, Outer is all about … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage, taming your outer child
| 
Tags: Abandonment, adult, adulting, anxiety, best life, growing up, health, innerchild, love, mentalhealth, outerchild, relationships, selfesteem, therapy, wellness, workbooks, workshops
| No comments
Has it ever occurred to you that love may be staring you in the face, but you just can’t recognize it? Maybe the person is too easily taken for granted, too available, doesn’t push your old insecurity buttons. Or maybe s/he doesn’t match up to some antiquated high school ideal about what a good catch … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, Divorce, Falling in love, Outer Child
| No comments
In working with the victims of abandonment trauma, I keep coming across folks who are emotionally anorexic. When people attempt to give them love, they can’t seem to take it in. They rather remain in a state of emotional starvation rather than risk abandonment – their greatest fear. As with almost all conditions, emotional anorexia … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, anorexia, Break Ups, Divorce, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, BPD and abandonment, healing from abandonment, outer child, PTSD and abandonment, self sabotage
| 5 comments
Click here to view recent articles. No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The sorrow of heartbreak is not just about loss, but about self doubt. When rejection is involved in the breakup, it triggers primal rage which we turn against ourselves, beating … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, Break Ups, Divorce, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, how to overcome self sabotage, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, post traumatic stress disorder and abandonment, Relationships, Self Esteem
| No comments
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD of Abandonment There is a significant overlap between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment (PTSD of Abandonment). In attempting to distinguish them, we are met with a lot of fine lines and nebula. Since there is a stigma attached to BPD, defining the difference … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, divorce, heartbreak, Insecurity, outer child, relationships, self sabotage, Trauma
| 5 comments
It isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in our connections. It can either interfere in our relationships or reinforce them. Once we learn … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Self Esteem
| 2 comments
Without realizing it we’ve been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. Most of us wish we could have higher self esteem. The good news is that we don’t have to go from having low self esteem to having high self esteem; we only need to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem
| No comments
Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions — loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness — that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Here are 12 facts to help you: Read more here on … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child
| No comments
When something triggers our primal abandonment pain — like a breakup, getting fired or rejected by school admissions, or dissed by a friend — it can be so ferocious and debilitating that we’d do almost anything to get past it. Read more here on Huffington Post! Click here to view recent articles. © Susan Anderson February 9, 2015
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment
| No comments
I developed the abandonment recovery program after the love of my life – my marital partner of eighteen years – suddenly up and left me for another woman. Read more here on Huffington Post! By Susan Anderson © 2015 Click here to view recent articles.
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Relationships
| 1 comment
Excited about the holidays? Stressed out by them? Both? Just when you thought happiness was a positive thing, someone has to come up with Eustress – the stress you get from feeling good. Eustress is the flip side of distress – its etymology: eu = good and stress= stretching apart. Eustress is the heightened emotional … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, holiday season, Outer Child, Relationships
| No comments
Do people ever call you borderline? Did you ever ask yourself if you have borderline personality disorder? We’re all a little borderline from time to time, and sometimes we’re a lot borderline, but does that mean we have Borderline Personality Disorder? Not necessarily. But it does mean we have an active Outer Child – the self … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Workplace
| 1 comment
Ever been fired? If you’ve been working hard somewhere for any length of time and you get fired, it can precipitate a major emotional crisis – an abandonment crisis – that takes a lot of personal work to rise out of. The problem with this type of abandonment trauma is, that we have a glorified … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Workplace
| 3 comments
People frequently write to me expressing their doubts about whether their partners are capable of being truly committed. Perhaps you sense they are too open to making new connections. Or they seem to be hedging their bets. You’ve begun having doubts and want to feel secure again. It’s disquieting to wonder if your partner might … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| 2 comments
Attracted to the Unavailable: 10 Ways to Overcome this Self Sabotaging Pattern Why are we attracted to the emotionally unavailable? What can we do about it? Obviously, if we lose interest as soon as someone becomes available, that won’t work because all we’d be doing is forever chasing and never having a relationship. So how do we get … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: chase, dating, emotional high, emotionally unavailable, infatuation, Insecurity, love, outer child
| 4 comments
No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The depression that goes with heartbreak is caused by turning the anger we feel about the failure against ourselves. If we feel rejected by the person, multiply that by a thousand. The remorse and … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, aloneness, blame, heartbreak, inadequacies, inner child, Insecurity, outer child, unworthy
| 1 comment
Susan Anderson guides you through Five Stages that accompany a loss of love. Decades of research…
How to conquer self-sabotage, self-abandonment, procrastination, overeating, etc. and resolve your relationships
Revolutionary guidebook of step-by-step exercises for healing Heartbreak Loss Abandonment and finding Love. Hands-on help
By reading a simple story you gain deep emotional and spiritual healing. Cleansing Centering Connecting
