This happens a lot: The one who is left feeling abandoned has the hardest time moving on – precisely because of the primal pain unleashed by abandonment. The one who chose to end it has a much easier time moving on. Sometimes the original reason for the break-up was that your partner left you for … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery, Break Ups
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Trying to get over someone can be so arduous that it needs to become an ongoing project. And you can’t expect results right away. You have to be goal-directed, determined, and unbelievably patient. If you learn how to work WITH rather than AGAINST your feelings, you will come out of it sooner rather than later, … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery, Break Ups
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Contrast. If you feel a negative contrast between what you experienced in the past and what you are experiencing now, you feel the short-fall as “unhappiness,” “loss of energy,” or “depression.” At first after Paul died, the contrast was nearly unbearable. I had been accustomed to intense connection and constant affection. We spent every spare … read the full article
Categories: Break Ups, Divorce
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© 2020 Susan Anderson The ending of a relationship is a time when friends, family, and sponsors are needed most –to provide direct emotional support. When someone experiences the loss of love, or feels they will never find someone to love, they are in kind of emotional crisis. Your willingness to reach out, listen to … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, heartbreak, Relationships
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Blaming yourself for your relationship’s failure to thrive is the most painful type of regret. Beating yourself for losing someone’s love is true agony. But more often than not, we do this when we’re dealing with a breakup. People often blame themselves for breakups, believing that their insecurity is what drove their partner away. Another … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Heart Break
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Tags: Abandonment, blame, breakup, divorce, getting over heartbreak, healing, heartbreak, life, love, love yourself, mental health, recovery, relationships, self-blame, selfesteem, unworthiness
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Are you attached to someone who doesn’t seem as committed as you are? Is there a lack of commitment in the relationship? Maybe they’re giving you double messages, keeping you at arm’s length, or pulling away when you try to get closer. Whatever the signs, your fear of abandonment has been triggered and you want … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, Divorce, Falling in love, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, heartbreak, how to raise self esteem, love, mental health, mental health awareness, recovery, romance, self sabotage, selfcare, selfesteem, therapy, wellness
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There’s nothing worse than being suddenly beset with intense anxiety and panic. It’s an emotional hijack — a hostile takeover by the fear center of your brain. The part of you that is usually reasonable and self-reassuring has been momentarily knocked out of commission. You feel out of control, helpless, demoralized by the emotional excesses … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, how to overcome self sabotage, ptsd and abandonment, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment issues, anxiety, depression, healing, meditation, mental health, panic, selfcare, selflove, workshops
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When someone rejects you they acquire power in your mind. They acquire power due to their ability to inflict pain. The more they hurt you the harder it is to let go. This is the painful paradox of abandonment. “Why does it take so long to get over it?” people ask. Those suffering from rejection … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Divorce, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, divorce, friendship, healing, heartbreak, higher self, love, mental health, rejection, relationships, self esteem, therapy, wellness
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Future Self is the self we would like to become, the one we have every intention of becoming were it not for our patterns of self-sabotage that get in the way. Future Self is who we are today, except perhaps… thinner richer more spiritually evolved more confident more assertive less co-dependent, less people-pleasing happier more … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, Divorce, Falling in love, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Relationships, Self Esteem, Self Sabotage
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonmentrecovery, confidence, dreams, goals, happiness, love, selfesteem, selflove
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Has it ever occurred to you that love may be staring you in the face, but you just can’t recognize it? Maybe the person is too easily taken for granted, too available, doesn’t push your old insecurity buttons. Or maybe s/he doesn’t match up to some antiquated high school ideal about what a good catch … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, Break Ups, Divorce, Falling in love, Outer Child
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In working with the victims of abandonment trauma, I keep coming across folks who are emotionally anorexic. When people attempt to give them love, they can’t seem to take it in. They rather remain in a state of emotional starvation rather than risk abandonment – their greatest fear. As with almost all conditions, emotional anorexia … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, anorexia, Break Ups, Divorce, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, BPD and abandonment, healing from abandonment, outer child, PTSD and abandonment, self sabotage
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Click here to view recent articles. No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The sorrow of heartbreak is not just about loss, but about self doubt. When rejection is involved in the breakup, it triggers primal rage which we turn against ourselves, beating … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, Break Ups, Divorce, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, how to overcome self sabotage, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, post traumatic stress disorder and abandonment, Relationships, Self Esteem
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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD of Abandonment There is a significant overlap between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment (PTSD of Abandonment). In attempting to distinguish them, we are met with a lot of fine lines and nebula. Since there is a stigma attached to BPD, defining the difference … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, divorce, heartbreak, Insecurity, outer child, relationships, self sabotage, Trauma
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It isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in our connections. It can either interfere in our relationships or reinforce them. Once we learn … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Self Esteem
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Without realizing it we’ve been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. Most of us wish we could have higher self esteem. The good news is that we don’t have to go from having low self esteem to having high self esteem; we only need to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem
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Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions — loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness — that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Here are 12 facts to help you: Read more here on … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child
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When something triggers our primal abandonment pain — like a breakup, getting fired or rejected by school admissions, or dissed by a friend — it can be so ferocious and debilitating that we’d do almost anything to get past it. Read more here on Huffington Post! Click here to view recent articles. © Susan Anderson February 9, 2015
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment
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I developed the abandonment recovery program after the love of my life – my marital partner of eighteen years – suddenly up and left me for another woman. Read more here on Huffington Post! By Susan Anderson © 2015 Click here to view recent articles.
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Relationships
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Do people ever call you borderline? Did you ever ask yourself if you have borderline personality disorder? We’re all a little borderline from time to time, and sometimes we’re a lot borderline, but does that mean we have Borderline Personality Disorder? Not necessarily. But it does mean we have an active Outer Child – the self … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Workplace
| 1 comment
Ever been fired? If you’ve been working hard somewhere for any length of time and you get fired, it can precipitate a major emotional crisis – an abandonment crisis – that takes a lot of personal work to rise out of. The problem with this type of abandonment trauma is, that we have a glorified … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Workplace
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Susan Anderson guides you through Five Stages that accompany a loss of love. Decades of research…
How to conquer self-sabotage, self-abandonment, procrastination, overeating, etc. and resolve your relationships
Revolutionary guidebook of step-by-step exercises for healing Heartbreak Loss Abandonment and finding Love. Hands-on help
By reading a simple story you gain deep emotional and spiritual healing. Cleansing Centering Connecting
