Posts belonging to Category Break Ups
Posted by Admin on April 15, 2014
People frequently write to me expressing their doubts about whether their partners are capable of being truly committed. Perhaps you sense they are too open to making new connections. Or they seem to be hedging their bets. You’ve begun having doubts and want to feel secure again. It’s disquieting to wonder if your partner might … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
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2 comments
Posted by Admin on March 28, 2014
Attracted to the Unavailable: 10 Ways to Overcome this Self Sabotaging Pattern Why are we attracted to the emotionally unavailable? What can we do about it? Obviously, if we lose interest as soon as someone becomes available, that won’t work because all we’d be doing is forever chasing and never having a relationship. So how do we get … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Outer Child, Relationships
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Tags: chase, dating, emotional high, emotionally unavailable, infatuation, Insecurity, love, outer child
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on March 10, 2014
No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The depression that goes with heartbreak is caused by turning the anger we feel about the failure against ourselves. If we feel rejected by the person, multiply that by a thousand. The remorse and … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, aloneness, blame, heartbreak, inadequacies, inner child, Insecurity, outer child, unworthy
| 1 comment
Posted by Admin on March 3, 2014
Overcoming the Trauma of Abandonment Abandonment has its own kind of grief trauma – a powerful grief universal to human beings. The grief can be acute – as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic – as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. The natural folds in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anger, divorce, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, relationships, separation
| 7 comments
Posted by Admin on February 25, 2014
Fear of abandonment is the source of human relationships, the source of our self sabotage. It fuels insecurity. But it isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, Break Up, primal fear, relationships
| 3 comments
Posted by Admin on December 3, 2013
First comes the ecstasy: You’re consumed with passion, love, longing, nothing ever hurt so good before. You’re both hot to the touch! Then slowly, the agony sets in. Things start to get unbalanced. The agony is worse for you if your lover is more married than you are. In other words, they have no intention … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, affair
| No comments
Posted by Admin on June 6, 2013
Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Break Ups, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 38 comments
Posted by Admin on May 24, 2013
You feel the connection at first while you’re pursuing someone. The newness keeps you interested. But as soon as you become sure of them – let’s say they start to attach to you, desire your company, and accept all you have to give and maybe even want more – you put up a boundary. Whoa! … read the full article
Categories: Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| No comments
Posted by Admin on May 10, 2013
Dear Fellow Abandonmates, I get frequent requests for individual psychotherapy from people visiting my website or reading my abandonment books. Due to scheduling issues, I’m able to give only occasional one-on-one abandonment consultations to new folks. But before setting up a session, I urge you to first attend one of my Abandonment Recovery workshops because … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 3 comments
Posted by admin on February 27, 2013
Do you hang onto an old relationship because you can’t face the abyss? The pain of abandonment cuts deeply. We fear it to the extent that our love-life gets caught up in avoidance maneuvers. Many of these behaviors are based on the tacit premise that “A bad relationship is better than no relationship at all.” … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Relationships
| 1 comment
Posted by admin on December 25, 2012
Get the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”10″] When our love connections are in turmoil, the panic and insecurity can hit hard, especially during the holiday season. A broken heart brings up all of our abandonment issues, and the holiday season’s merriment adds insult to injury. Take a step back and remember that you can … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
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Posted by admin on December 19, 2012
“How do I survive the holiday alone?” is a question we ask ourselves as the season approaches. Download the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”9″] Many people must face the holiday season alone, bereft of that special someone. As we approach the holiday season and are faced head-on with the familiarity of holiday music, Christmas … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, holiday season, Relationships
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Posted by admin on October 11, 2012
Most of us without realizing it, have been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. We may have been reading about how to improve self-esteem to no avail. The good news is that you don’t have to go from having low self-esteem to having high self-esteem, … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| 2 comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on September 1, 2012
Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions – loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness – that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Which is why getting over heartbreak is scary in the beginning. … read the full article
Categories: abandonment recovery, Break Ups, Heart Break, heartbreak, Relationships
| Tags: broken hearted, getting over heartbreak, heartache, heartbreak, how to heal a broken heart
| No comments
