Posts belonging to Category Outer Child
Posted by Admin on March 3, 2014
Overcoming the Trauma of Abandonment Abandonment has its own kind of grief trauma – a powerful grief universal to human beings. The grief can be acute – as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic – as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. The natural folds in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
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Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anger, divorce, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, relationships, separation
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7 comments
Posted by Admin on February 25, 2014
Fear of abandonment is the source of human relationships, the source of our self sabotage. It fuels insecurity. But it isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, Break Up, primal fear, relationships
| 3 comments
Posted by Admin on December 3, 2013
First comes the ecstasy: You’re consumed with passion, love, longing, nothing ever hurt so good before. You’re both hot to the touch! Then slowly, the agony sets in. Things start to get unbalanced. The agony is worse for you if your lover is more married than you are. In other words, they have no intention … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, affair
| No comments
Posted by Admin on November 7, 2013
Millions of people are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do they keep repeating the same patterns over and over? What can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone and unfulfilled because you keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, you suddenly feel … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, patterns, relationships, romance, self sabotage, stuck, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on September 28, 2013
Self sabotage is the residual of unresolved abandonment. Its lingering insecurity and self doubt cause us to forfeit our long range goals. What about you? Do you sabotage your relationships? Your diet? Your career? Your bank account? These are among the ways, large and small, that people abandon themselves. By abandoning our most important dreams … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on August 19, 2013
Abandonment is our first fear. It is primal and universal to all human beings. Abandonment is the special element that makes loss of a job, separation, bereavement and divorce so painful. Abandonment is that feeling of being left on the doorstep – of feeling left behind. The upheaval of divorce is considerable. There is the … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| No comments
Posted by Admin on June 6, 2013
Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Break Ups, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 38 comments
Posted by Admin on May 24, 2013
You feel the connection at first while you’re pursuing someone. The newness keeps you interested. But as soon as you become sure of them – let’s say they start to attach to you, desire your company, and accept all you have to give and maybe even want more – you put up a boundary. Whoa! … read the full article
Categories: Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| No comments
Posted by Admin on May 12, 2013
I’ve received thousands of letters from people telling me how abandonment trauma has wrecked their lives. Anxiety overwhelms them when they attempt a new relationship. They feel a painful lack of trust toward any potential partner which caused them to panic and withdraw. Their abandonment fear is just too intense to cope with. They also … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 27 comments
Posted by Admin on May 10, 2013
Dear Fellow Abandonmates, I get frequent requests for individual psychotherapy from people visiting my website or reading my abandonment books. Due to scheduling issues, I’m able to give only occasional one-on-one abandonment consultations to new folks. But before setting up a session, I urge you to first attend one of my Abandonment Recovery workshops because … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 3 comments
Posted by admin on March 3, 2013
“Why am I afraid of love?” you ask. Love may be staring you in the face at this very moment. Have you been hurt so many times that you have come to confuse insecurity with love? If so I’m guessing that you tend to seek unavailable partners. You are an abandoholic if you are addicted … read the full article
Categories: Outer Child, Relationships
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Posted by admin on December 25, 2012
Get the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”10″] When our love connections are in turmoil, the panic and insecurity can hit hard, especially during the holiday season. A broken heart brings up all of our abandonment issues, and the holiday season’s merriment adds insult to injury. Take a step back and remember that you can … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| 1 comment
Posted by admin on October 19, 2012
It isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Get the downloadable form here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”5″] Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in our connections. It can either interfere in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| 30 comments
Posted by admin on October 11, 2012
Most of us without realizing it, have been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. We may have been reading about how to improve self-esteem to no avail. The good news is that you don’t have to go from having low self-esteem to having high self-esteem, … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| 2 comments
