Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on November 30, 2016
Healing abandonment involves summoning your creative energy. Your task is to create positive gains from adversity, growth in the place of woundedness. Whether you are struggling through a painful breakup, triggered by childhood issues that impinge in your life, fired from a job, feeling dismissed by a friend, or isolated because you can’t seem to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment
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Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, breakup, childhood issues, creativity, healing, huffington post, relationships
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Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on November 4, 2016
The human condition The fear of abandonment is primal and universal to human experience, the crux of the human condition. We all have it. That’s why I write about it so much. Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that it’s better to deal with our abandonment fear, know when it rears its head, than try to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recover, Emotional Crisis, healing, huffington post, love, mental health, positive change, relationships
| No comments
Posted by Susan Anderson, Psychotherapist on October 7, 2016
© Susan Anderson September 28 2016 Overview There was a big response to my first article describing the characteristics of PTSD of Abandonment – so many abandonment survivors writing in with open hearts to describe the way abandonment trauma has been affecting their emotional responses and their behavior patterns. The list below depicts typical symptoms experienced by people struggling … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment
| Tags: Abandonment, emotional flashbacks, fear of abandonment, loss, post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment, PTSD of abandonment, self esteem, Trauma
| 2 comments
Posted by Admin on May 27, 2016
I love to eat, and then eat. It’s just the consequences I hate. What’s a potato chip but a prelude to the whole bag? What’s an M&M but a tease for a fistful? I’ve watched people eat just one cookie and then turn away. I study them as if they are extra terrestrials. They must … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, journey from abandonment to healing, Overeating, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, overeaating, self sabotage
| 2 comments
Posted by Admin on April 17, 2016
For many people, falling in love means becoming more vulnerable. It arouses our primal abandonment fear. It bubbles up from the deep, giving rise to feelings of insecurity that can cause some of us to become needy, clingy, or demanding, and others angry, frozen, or avoidant. To believe that your abandonment issues are blocking you … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, borderline and ptsd, Self Sabotage
| Tags: Abandonment, recovery, self sabotage
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Posted by Admin on December 17, 2015
I’ve written previously about the differences between borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment but here I’d like to explain why distinguishing the two seems important to me. It has to do with the stigma attached to the diagnosis of “borderline.” The two diagnostic categories (BPD and PTSD of Abandonment) have an … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, post traumatic stress disorder and abandonment, ptsd and abandonment, Relationships, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, bpd, PTSD, relationships
| 1 comment
Posted by Admin on August 6, 2015
There’s nothing worse than being suddenly beset with intense anxiety and panic. It’s an emotional hijack — a hostile takeover by the fear center of your brain. The part of you that is usually reasonable and self-reassuring has been momentarily knocked out of commission. You feel out of control, helpless, demoralized by the emotional excesses … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, healing from abandonment, Self Esteem, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anxiety, primal fear, PTSD, relationships
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Posted by Admin on June 9, 2015
In working with the victims of abandonment trauma, I keep coming across folks who are emotionally anorexic. When people attempt to give them love, they can’t seem to take it in. They rather remain in a state of emotional starvation rather than risk abandonment – their greatest fear. As with almost all conditions, emotional anorexia … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, anorexia, Break Ups, Divorce, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Self Esteem
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, BPD and abandonment, healing from abandonment, outer child, PTSD and abandonment, self sabotage
| 5 comments
Posted by Admin on April 24, 2015
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD of Abandonment There is a significant overlap between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment (PTSD of Abandonment). In attempting to distinguish them, we are met with a lot of fine lines and nebula. Since there is a stigma attached to BPD, defining the difference … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, BPD, bpd and ptsd, Break Ups, healing from abandonment, Heart Break, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, divorce, heartbreak, Insecurity, outer child, relationships, self sabotage, Trauma
| 5 comments
Posted by Admin on February 9, 2015
When something triggers our primal abandonment pain — like a breakup, getting fired or rejected by school admissions, or dissed by a friend — it can be so ferocious and debilitating that we’d do almost anything to get past it. Read more here on Huffington Post! Click here to view recent articles. © Susan Anderson February 9, 2015
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Heart Break, Outer Child, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment
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Posted by Admin on March 10, 2014
No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The depression that goes with heartbreak is caused by turning the anger we feel about the failure against ourselves. If we feel rejected by the person, multiply that by a thousand. The remorse and … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, aloneness, blame, heartbreak, inadequacies, inner child, Insecurity, outer child, unworthy
| 1 comment
Posted by Admin on March 3, 2014
Overcoming the Trauma of Abandonment Abandonment has its own kind of grief trauma – a powerful grief universal to human beings. The grief can be acute – as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic – as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. The natural folds in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anger, divorce, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, relationships, separation
| 7 comments
Posted by Admin on February 25, 2014
Fear of abandonment is the source of human relationships, the source of our self sabotage. It fuels insecurity. But it isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, Break Up, primal fear, relationships
| 3 comments
Posted by Admin on December 3, 2013
First comes the ecstasy: You’re consumed with passion, love, longing, nothing ever hurt so good before. You’re both hot to the touch! Then slowly, the agony sets in. Things start to get unbalanced. The agony is worse for you if your lover is more married than you are. In other words, they have no intention … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, affair
| No comments
Posted by Admin on November 19, 2013
Causes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment Part Two There is a difference between Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The difference is that the latter involves post traumatic symptoms that are enduring. Some people are more prone to the disorder than others. Why do some people who go … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, PTSD
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, PTSD, relationships, self sabotage, Trauma
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on November 12, 2013
The intense emotional crisis of abandonment can create a trauma severe enough to leave an emotional imprint on individuals’ psychobiological functioning, affecting their future choices and responses to rejection, loss, or disconnection. Following an abandonment experience in childhood or adulthood, some people develop a sequela of post traumatic symptoms which share sufficient features with post … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, PTSD
| Tags: Abandonment, Break Up, Emotional Crisis, heartbreak, Insecurity, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, relationships, Trauma
| 98 comments
Posted by Admin on November 7, 2013
Millions of people are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do they keep repeating the same patterns over and over? What can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone and unfulfilled because you keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, you suddenly feel … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, patterns, relationships, romance, self sabotage, stuck, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on September 28, 2013
Self sabotage is the residual of unresolved abandonment. Its lingering insecurity and self doubt cause us to forfeit our long range goals. What about you? Do you sabotage your relationships? Your diet? Your career? Your bank account? These are among the ways, large and small, that people abandon themselves. By abandoning our most important dreams … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on August 19, 2013
Abandonment is our first fear. It is primal and universal to all human beings. Abandonment is the special element that makes loss of a job, separation, bereavement and divorce so painful. Abandonment is that feeling of being left on the doorstep – of feeling left behind. The upheaval of divorce is considerable. There is the … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| No comments
Posted by Admin on June 6, 2013
Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Break Ups, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 38 comments
