Posts belonging to Category Relationships
Posted by Admin on December 22, 2014
Excited about the holidays? Stressed out by them? Both? Just when you thought happiness was a positive thing, someone has to come up with Eustress – the stress you get from feeling good. Eustress is the flip side of distress – its etymology: eu = good and stress= stretching apart. Eustress is the heightened emotional … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, holiday season, Outer Child, Relationships
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Posted by Admin on December 15, 2014
Do people ever call you borderline? Did you ever ask yourself if you have borderline personality disorder? We’re all a little borderline from time to time, and sometimes we’re a lot borderline, but does that mean we have Borderline Personality Disorder? Not necessarily. But it does mean we have an active Outer Child – the self … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Workplace
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Posted by Admin on September 12, 2014
Ever been fired? If you’ve been working hard somewhere for any length of time and you get fired, it can precipitate a major emotional crisis – an abandonment crisis – that takes a lot of personal work to rise out of. The problem with this type of abandonment trauma is, that we have a glorified … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships, Workplace
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Posted by Admin on April 15, 2014
People frequently write to me expressing their doubts about whether their partners are capable of being truly committed. Perhaps you sense they are too open to making new connections. Or they seem to be hedging their bets. You’ve begun having doubts and want to feel secure again. It’s disquieting to wonder if your partner might … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
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Posted by Admin on March 28, 2014
Attracted to the Unavailable: 10 Ways to Overcome this Self Sabotaging Pattern Why are we attracted to the emotionally unavailable? What can we do about it? Obviously, if we lose interest as soon as someone becomes available, that won’t work because all we’d be doing is forever chasing and never having a relationship. So how do we get … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Outer Child, Relationships
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Tags: chase, dating, emotional high, emotionally unavailable, infatuation, Insecurity, love, outer child
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Posted by Admin on March 10, 2014
No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The depression that goes with heartbreak is caused by turning the anger we feel about the failure against ourselves. If we feel rejected by the person, multiply that by a thousand. The remorse and … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, aloneness, blame, heartbreak, inadequacies, inner child, Insecurity, outer child, unworthy
| 1 comment
Posted by Admin on March 3, 2014
Overcoming the Trauma of Abandonment Abandonment has its own kind of grief trauma – a powerful grief universal to human beings. The grief can be acute – as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic – as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. The natural folds in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, abandonment recovery, anger, divorce, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, relationships, separation
| 7 comments
Posted by Admin on February 25, 2014
Fear of abandonment is the source of human relationships, the source of our self sabotage. It fuels insecurity. But it isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships, Uncategorized
| Tags: Abandonment, Break Up, primal fear, relationships
| 3 comments
Posted by Admin on December 3, 2013
First comes the ecstasy: You’re consumed with passion, love, longing, nothing ever hurt so good before. You’re both hot to the touch! Then slowly, the agony sets in. Things start to get unbalanced. The agony is worse for you if your lover is more married than you are. In other words, they have no intention … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, affair
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Posted by Admin on November 27, 2013
You Don’t Have to Have Post Trauma Stress Disorder of Abandonment to Benefit from Abandonment Recovery tools This article addresses people along the abandonment spectrum and reviews a program of therapy techniques and tools that promote growth and wellbeing and mitigate the impact of PTSD of Abandonment. What is abandonment syndrome? We all have primal … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, PTSD, Relationships
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Posted by Admin on November 7, 2013
Millions of people are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do they keep repeating the same patterns over and over? What can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone and unfulfilled because you keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, you suddenly feel … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, patterns, relationships, romance, self sabotage, stuck, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on September 28, 2013
Self sabotage is the residual of unresolved abandonment. Its lingering insecurity and self doubt cause us to forfeit our long range goals. What about you? Do you sabotage your relationships? Your diet? Your career? Your bank account? These are among the ways, large and small, that people abandon themselves. By abandoning our most important dreams … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
| 4 comments
Posted by Admin on August 19, 2013
Abandonment is our first fear. It is primal and universal to all human beings. Abandonment is the special element that makes loss of a job, separation, bereavement and divorce so painful. Abandonment is that feeling of being left on the doorstep – of feeling left behind. The upheaval of divorce is considerable. There is the … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, divorce, grief, heartbreak, relationships, romance, self sabotage, workshop
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Posted by Admin on June 6, 2013
Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, borderline and ptsd, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Break Ups, Heart Break, journey from abandonment to healing, Outer Child, Relationships, Self Esteem, taming your outer child
| Tags: Abandonment, borderline personality disorder, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 38 comments
Posted by Admin on May 24, 2013
You feel the connection at first while you’re pursuing someone. The newness keeps you interested. But as soon as you become sure of them – let’s say they start to attach to you, desire your company, and accept all you have to give and maybe even want more – you put up a boundary. Whoa! … read the full article
Categories: Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
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Posted by Admin on May 12, 2013
I’ve received thousands of letters from people telling me how abandonment trauma has wrecked their lives. Anxiety overwhelms them when they attempt a new relationship. They feel a painful lack of trust toward any potential partner which caused them to panic and withdraw. Their abandonment fear is just too intense to cope with. They also … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Outer Child, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 27 comments
Posted by Admin on May 10, 2013
Dear Fellow Abandonmates, I get frequent requests for individual psychotherapy from people visiting my website or reading my abandonment books. Due to scheduling issues, I’m able to give only occasional one-on-one abandonment consultations to new folks. But before setting up a session, I urge you to first attend one of my Abandonment Recovery workshops because … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, BPD, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, PTSD, Relationships
| Tags: Abandonment, complicated grief, grief, heartbreak, relationships, self sabotage, workshop
| 3 comments
Posted by admin on March 3, 2013
“Why am I afraid of love?” you ask. Love may be staring you in the face at this very moment. Have you been hurt so many times that you have come to confuse insecurity with love? If so I’m guessing that you tend to seek unavailable partners. You are an abandoholic if you are addicted … read the full article
Categories: Outer Child, Relationships
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Posted by admin on February 27, 2013
Do you hang onto an old relationship because you can’t face the abyss? The pain of abandonment cuts deeply. We fear it to the extent that our love-life gets caught up in avoidance maneuvers. Many of these behaviors are based on the tacit premise that “A bad relationship is better than no relationship at all.” … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Relationships
| 1 comment
Posted by admin on December 25, 2012
Get the PDF version here. [email-download-link namefield=”YES” id=”10″] When our love connections are in turmoil, the panic and insecurity can hit hard, especially during the holiday season. A broken heart brings up all of our abandonment issues, and the holiday season’s merriment adds insult to injury. Take a step back and remember that you can … read the full article
Categories: Abandonment, Break Ups, Divorce, Outer Child, Relationships
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