Abandonment and the Holiday Season

Many people must face the holiday season alone, bereft of that special someone. As we approach the holiday season and are faced head on with the familiarity of holiday music, christmas lights, seasonal flavors and, best or worst of all, family, our memories will most definitely begin to surface.Returning home for the holidays may trigger feelings of uncerta

inty or even grief if you are returning alone. Many folks who are still feeling the heat of a break up, or the intensity of another kind of loss tend to relive their abandonment trauma at this time of year.This blog is intended to serve as a reminder to embrace your whole self, including your sadness. Please be gentle with yourself and don’t try to push your feelings away. Imagine the loss that you are grieving as a wound and tend it with loving care. Share your feelings if talking helps. Is there an abandonment support group in your area? They can be a saving grace at this time of year.Don’t underestimate the power of New Year’s resolutions! What are your goals? What are some steps you can take toward reaching your worthy goals? Imagine yourself exactly where you want to be next holiday season. How did you get there? Write a letter to your present self with explicit instructions!

I urge you to make new friends and reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with. Celebrate the present moment with them. If it is hard to be fully present with yourself during periods of intense longing this holiday season, practice by demonstrating a genuine interest your friends and family. Empathize with their lives. Make them feel their special importance in your life. You are worthy of the same empathy and love.

Trust that your journey from abandonment to healing will result in restoring a new sense of self with increased energy and new and expanding love. I do! Just stay the course. Do the work. Do not give up.

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