Healing Abandonment is a Creative Process

Healing abandonment involves summoning your creative energy. Your task is to create positive gains from adversity, growth in the place of woundedness. Whether you are struggling through a painful breakup, triggered by childhood issues that impinge in your life, fired from a job, feeling dismissed by a friend, or isolated because you can’t seem to … read the full article

Why We All Have Abandonment Issues

The human condition The fear of abandonment is primal and universal to human experience, the crux of the human condition. We all have it. That’s why I write about it so much. Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that it’s better to deal with our abandonment fear, know when it rears its head, than try to … read the full article

How is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment Different From Borderline? Addressing the BPD Stigma and Treatment Choices

I’ve written previously about the differences between borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment but here I’d like to explain why distinguishing the two seems important to me.  It has to do with the stigma attached to the diagnosis of “borderline.” The two diagnostic categories (BPD and PTSD of Abandonment) have an … read the full article

How to Quell Intense Anxiety and Panic

  There’s nothing worse than being suddenly beset with intense anxiety and panic. It’s an emotional hijack — a hostile takeover by the fear center of your brain. The part of you that is usually reasonable and self-reassuring has been momentarily knocked out of commission. You feel out of control, helpless, demoralized by the emotional … read the full article

‘The 36 Questions’ for Falling in Love: What Makes Them Work?

The world is full of love-worthy, eligible people looking for a way out of involuntary singleness. They want to put an end to their cycles of abandonment and find a long-term mutual relationship. They are determined to overcome any self-sabotaging patterns that might stand in their way. Some may be attracted to the unavailable. Some tend to … read the full article

Borderline vs. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: Therapy Goals

  Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD of Abandonment  There is a significant overlap between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment (PTSD of Abandonment).  In attempting to distinguish them, we are met with a lot of fine lines and nebula.  Since there is a stigma attached to BPD, defining the … read the full article

Fear of Abandonment: A Primal Dilemma of Insecurity and 10 Ways to Turn it Around

Fear of abandonment is the source of human relationships, the source of our self sabotage.  It fuels insecurity.  But it isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it.  Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of.   It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in … read the full article

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: Why Some People are more Prone Developing it than Others?

Causes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment Part Two   There is a difference between Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The difference is that the latter involves post traumatic symptoms that are enduring. Some people are more prone to the disorder than others. Why do some people who go … read the full article

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: 36 Characteristics

The intense emotional crisis of abandonment can create a trauma severe enough to leave an emotional imprint on individuals’ psychobiological functioning, affecting their future choices and responses to rejection, loss, or disconnection.  Following an abandonment experience in childhood or adulthood, some people develop a sequela of post traumatic symptoms which share sufficient features with post … read the full article

ARE YOU ALONE, STUCK IN A PATTERN AND CAN’T GET OUT? 10 Ways Out!

  Millions of people are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do they keep repeating the same patterns over and over and what can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone and unfulfilled because you keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, you … read the full article

REVERSING SELF SABOTAGE AND OVERCOMING ABANDONMENT

Self sabotage is the residual of unresolved abandonment.  Its lingering insecurity and self doubt cause us to forfeit our long range goals. What about you?  Do you sabotage your relationships?  Your diet?  Your career?  Your bank account?  These are among the ways, large and small, that people abandon themselves.  By abandoning our most important dreams … read the full article

Why Does Divorce Create Such Turmoil? (As seen on Movingpastdivorce.com)

Abandonment is our first fear. It is primal and universal to all human beings. Abandonment is the special element that makes loss of a job, separation, bereavement and divorce so painful. Abandonment is that feeling of being left on the doorstep – of feeling left behind. The upheaval of divorce is considerable. There is the … read the full article

ABANDONMENT vs. BORDERLINE: 12 Helping Tasks for Coping with Emotional Hijacking

Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article

Why Do I Fall Out of Love? Five Tips to Avoid Losing Interest

  You feel the connection at first while you’re pursuing someone. The newness keeps you interested. But as soon as you become sure of them – let’s say they start to attach to you, desire your company, and accept all you have to give and maybe even want more – you put up a boundary. … read the full article

HOW TO KEEP ABANDONMENT FROM SABOTAGING MY LIFE

I’ve received thousands of letters from people telling me how abandonment trauma has wrecked their lives. Anxiety overwhelms them when they attempt a new relationship. They feel a painful lack of trust toward any potential partner which caused them to panic and withdraw. Their abandonment fear is just too intense to cope with. They also … read the full article

HOW TO HEAL ABANDONMENT: Tips on Abandonment Therapy and Abandonment Recovery Workshops

  Dear Fellow Abandonmates, I get frequent requests for individual psychotherapy from people visiting my website or reading my abandonment books. Due to scheduling issues, I’m able to give only occasional one-on-one abandonment consultations to new folks. But before setting up a session, I urge you to first attend one of my Abandonment Recovery workshops … read the full article

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