Recent Articles by Susan Anderson

How to Improve Your Self Esteem

Without realizing it we’ve been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. Most of us wish we could have higher self esteem. The good news is that we don’t have to go from having low self esteem to having high self esteem; we only need to … read the full article

How to Overcome Heartbreak

Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions — loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness — that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Here are 12 facts to help you: Read more here on … read the full article

Three Different Abandonment Pills?

In looking out for helpful information on behalf of my readers, I’ve come across a few pills.  Pills?  You mean abandonment pills?  For when you’re going through heartbreak and loss? Well, sort of. People have always wished there could be a magic pill to cure the primal pain of abandonment, one that hopefully wasn’t addictive … read the full article

How to Get Over Abandonment — a Fast Track

When something triggers our primal abandonment pain — like a breakup, getting fired or rejected by school admissions, or dissed by a friend — it can be so ferocious and debilitating that we’d do almost anything to get past it. Read more here on Huffington Post! Click here to view recent articles. © Susan Anderson February 9, 2015  

How I Survived Abandonment: 12 Tips for a Complete Recovery

I developed the abandonment recovery program after the love of my life – my marital partner of eighteen years – suddenly up and left me for another woman. Read more here on Huffington Post! By Susan Anderson © 2015 Click here to view recent articles.

Did a Swan Commit Suicide because of Grief?

There was a report yesterday in the Daily Mail of a swan apparently committing suicide over the death of its mother.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2905658/Is-proof-animals-commit-suicide-Young-swan-captured-apparently-drowning-distress-death-mother.html The photographs in the article may be open to interpretation, but they drive home the point that grief can be painful stuff and overwhelm us with feelings of inescapable loneliness and hopelessness. Human … read the full article

The Joy, Stress, and Vulnerability of the Holidays: 10 Ways to deal with Eustress

© Susan Anderson Dec 15 2014 Click here to view recent articles. Excited about the holidays? Stressed out by them?  Both? Just when you thought happiness was a positive thing, someone has to come up with Eustress – the stress you get from feeling good.  Eustress is the flip side of distress – its etymology: eu = … read the full article

Do You Sabotage your Relationships? Does your Outer Child ever act like a Borderline? 10 ways to Curb Outer Child from Sabotaging your Life

Do people ever call you borderline? We’re all a little borderline from time to time, and sometimes we’re a lot borderline, but does that mean we have Borderline Personality Disorder? Not necessarily, but it does mean we have an active Outer Child – the self saboteur of the personality – the part that wears its heart … read the full article

What is OUTER CHILD? A Way to Overcome Self Abandonment and Self Sabotage

Do you have an Outer Child? How to Stop Abandoning Yourself and Reach Your Goals    Does your Outer Child sabotage your relationships?  Your long range goals?  Your diet?  There are myriad ways we all abandon ourselves by letting Outer Child take control of our lives.  Do you forsake your true needs and goals on … read the full article

FIRED FROM A JOB: A Silent Form of Abandonment Trauma

Ever been fired?  If you’ve been working hard somewhere for any length of time and you get fired, it can precipitate a major emotional crisis – an abandonment crisis – that takes a lot of personal work to rise out of. The problem with this type of abandonment trauma is, that we have a glorified … read the full article

Insecurity in your relationship: Is Your Partner Fully Committed? 10 tips

People frequently write to me expressing their doubts about whether their partners are capable of being truly committed.  Perhaps you sense they are too open to making new connections.  Or they seem to be hedging their bets.  You’ve begun having doubts and want to feel secure again. It’s disquieting to wonder if your partner might … read the full article

Wanting the Unavailable

 Attracted to the Unavailable: 10 Ways to Overcome this Self Sabotaging Pattern   Why are we attracted to the emotionally unavailable? What can we do about it?  Obviously, if we lose interested as soon as someone becomes available, that won’t work because all we’d be doing is forever chasing and never having a relationship.  So how do we get … read the full article

TO SURVIVE A BREAKUP – 12 WAYS TO AVOID BLAMING YOURSELF

No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends.  We take it as a personal failure.  The depression that goes with heartbreak is caused by turning the anger we feel about the failure against ourselves.  If we feel rejected by the person, multiply that by a thousand.  The remorse and … read the full article

The Five Phases of Abandonment and Recovery: The Path of Healing

Overcoming the Trauma of Abandonment Abandonment has its own kind of grief trauma – a powerful grief universal to human beings.  The grief can be acute – as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic – as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. The natural folds in … read the full article

Fear of Abandonment: A Primal Dilemma of Insecurity and 10 Ways to Turn it Around

Fear of abandonment is the source of human relationships, the source of our self sabotage.  It fuels insecurity.  But it isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it.  Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of.   It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in … read the full article

IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO’S MARRIED? THE AGONY AND THE ECSTACY

First comes the ecstasy:  You’re consumed with passion, love, longing, nothing ever hurt so good before. You’re both hot to the touch!  Then slowly, the agony sets in. Things start to get unbalanced.   The agony is worse for you if your lover is more married than you are. In other words, they have no … read the full article

Are you on the Abandonment Spectrum? Do you have Symptoms of Abandonment Trauma?

You Don’t Have to Have Post Trauma Stress Disorder of Abandonment to Benefit from Abandonment Recovery tools © Susan Anderson November 27 2013 Click here to return to Recent Articles.  This article addresses people along the abandonment spectrum and reviews a program of therapy techniques and tools that promote growth and wellbeing and mitigate the impact of PTSD … read the full article

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: Why Some People are more Prone Developing it than Others?

Causes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment Part Two   There is a difference between Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The difference is that the latter involves post traumatic symptoms that are enduring. Some people are more prone to the disorder than others. Why do some people who go … read the full article

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: 36 Characteristics

The intense emotional crisis of abandonment can create a trauma severe enough to leave an emotional imprint on individuals’ psychobiological functioning, affecting their future choices and responses to rejection, loss, or disconnection.  Following an abandonment experience in childhood or adulthood, some people develop a sequela of post traumatic symptoms which share sufficient features with post … read the full article

ARE YOU ALONE, STUCK IN A PATTERN AND CAN’T GET OUT? 10 Ways Out!

  Millions of people are caught up in cycles of abandonment. Why do they keep repeating the same patterns over and over and what can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone and unfulfilled because you keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, you … read the full article

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