Posts belonging to Category Self Esteem

Overeating Is an Abandonment Issue: How to Heal it

I love to eat, and then eat. It’s just the consequences I hate. What’s a potato chip but a prelude to the whole bag? What’s an M&M but a tease for a fistful? I’ve watched people eat just one cookie and then turn away. I study them as if they are extra terrestrials. They must … read the full article

We Are Strongest Where the Breaks Are: Do you have evidence of Post Traumatic Growth?

Is it possible that abandonment has made you stronger? Most people are familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but what about Post Traumatic Growth? Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) is a concept developed over twenty years ago by professors Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun  to identify strengths we pick up from struggling through life’s adversities. When … read the full article

How to Quell Intense Anxiety and Panic

  There’s nothing worse than being suddenly beset with intense anxiety and panic. It’s an emotional hijack — a hostile takeover by the fear center of your brain. The part of you that is usually reasonable and self-reassuring has been momentarily knocked out of commission. You feel out of control, helpless, demoralized by the emotional … read the full article

Emotional Anorexia and Abandonment

  In working with the victims of abandonment trauma, I keep coming across folks who are emotionally anorexic.  When people attempt to give them love, they can’t seem to take it in.  They rather remain in a state of emotional starvation rather than risk abandonment – their greatest fear. As with almost all conditions, emotional … read the full article

How to Survive a Breakup: 12 Ways to Stop Blaming Yourself and Gain From It

  Click here to view recent articles. No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The sorrow of heartbreak is not just about loss, but about self doubt. When rejection is involved in the breakup, it triggers primal rage which we turn against ourselves, … read the full article

How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment: 7 Dos and 10 Don’ts

  It isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in our connections. It can either interfere in our relationships or reinforce them. Once we … read the full article

How to Improve Your Self Esteem

Without realizing it we’ve been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. Most of us wish we could have higher self esteem. The good news is that we don’t have to go from having low self esteem to having high self esteem; we only need to … read the full article

ABANDONMENT vs. BORDERLINE: 12 Helping Tasks for Coping with Emotional Hijacking

Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article

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