Posts belonging to Category Heart Break

Are You Alone, Stuck in a Pattern, and Can’t Get Out? 12 Ways Out

Are you and anyone you know caught up in cycles of abandonment? Why do people keep repeating the same patterns over and over? What can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone because you are attracted to the unavailable. When someone comes along who genuinely wants you, you feel … read the full article

We Are Strongest Where the Breaks Are: Do you have evidence of Post Traumatic Growth?

Is it possible that abandonment has made you stronger? Most people are familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but what about Post Traumatic Growth? Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) is a concept developed over twenty years ago by professors Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun  to identify strengths we pick up from struggling through life’s adversities. When … read the full article

Emotional Anorexia and Abandonment

  In working with the victims of abandonment trauma, I keep coming across folks who are emotionally anorexic.  When people attempt to give them love, they can’t seem to take it in.  They rather remain in a state of emotional starvation rather than risk abandonment – their greatest fear. As with almost all conditions, emotional … read the full article

How to Survive a Breakup: 12 Ways to Stop Blaming Yourself and Gain From It

  Click here to view recent articles. No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The sorrow of heartbreak is not just about loss, but about self doubt. When rejection is involved in the breakup, it triggers primal rage which we turn against ourselves, … read the full article

Borderline vs. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: Therapy Goals

  Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and PTSD of Abandonment  There is a significant overlap between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment (PTSD of Abandonment).  In attempting to distinguish them, we are met with a lot of fine lines and nebula.  Since there is a stigma attached to BPD, defining the … read the full article

How to Overcome Fear of Abandonment: 7 Dos and 10 Don’ts

  It isn’t fear of abandonment that sabotages our relationships, it’s how we handle it. Fear of abandonment is primal fear – not something we get rid of. It is essential and universal to all human beings, a driving force in our connections. It can either interfere in our relationships or reinforce them. Once we … read the full article

How to Improve Your Self Esteem

Without realizing it we’ve been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all of our lives, just not effectively. Most of us wish we could have higher self esteem. The good news is that we don’t have to go from having low self esteem to having high self esteem; we only need to … read the full article

How to Overcome Heartbreak

Heartbreak hurts so deeply because it pulls at that raw abandonment nerve we all share. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions — loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness — that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. Here are 12 facts to help you: Read more here on … read the full article

How to Get Over Abandonment — a Fast Track

When something triggers our primal abandonment pain — like a breakup, getting fired or rejected by school admissions, or dissed by a friend — it can be so ferocious and debilitating that we’d do almost anything to get past it. Read more here on Huffington Post! Click here to view recent articles. © Susan Anderson February 9, 2015  

How I Survived Abandonment: 12 Tips for a Complete Recovery

I developed the abandonment recovery program after the love of my life – my marital partner of eighteen years – suddenly up and left me for another woman. Read more here on Huffington Post! By Susan Anderson © 2015 Click here to view recent articles.

ABANDONMENT vs. BORDERLINE: 12 Helping Tasks for Coping with Emotional Hijacking

Abandonment creates an emotional crisis of such intensity and duration that it mimics a full blown borderline episode. This has caused many a therapist to diagnose borderline personality disorder (BPD) in many a client in the throes of a painful separation. When a client presents with an emotional volcano of abandonment, it is easy to … read the full article

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