Posts belonging to Category abandonment recovery

How to Prevent Abandonment Issues From Sabotaging Your Love Life: 12 Things to Know on Your Path to Recovery

For many people, falling in love means becoming more vulnerable. It arouses our primal abandonment fear. It bubbles up from the deep, giving rise to feelings of insecurity that can cause some of us to become needy, clingy, or demanding, and others angry, frozen, or avoidant. To believe that your abandonment issues are blocking you … read the full article

How is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment Different From Borderline? Addressing the BPD Stigma and Treatment Choices

I’ve written previously about the differences between borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment but here I’d like to explain why distinguishing the two seems important to me.  It has to do with the stigma attached to the diagnosis of “borderline.” The two diagnostic categories (BPD and PTSD of Abandonment) have an … read the full article

Overcoming Love’s Invisible Barriers: 12 Helpful Preparations

Has it ever occurred to you that love may be staring you in the face, but you just can’t recognize it? Maybe the person is too easily taken for granted, too available, doesn’t push your old insecurity buttons. Or maybe s/he doesn’t match up to some antiquated high school ideal about what a good catch … read the full article

Are You Alone, Stuck in a Pattern, and Can’t Get Out? 12 Ways Out

Are you and anyone you know caught up in cycles of abandonment? Why do people keep repeating the same patterns over and over? What can they do to break free? One common pattern I call “abandoholism.” You’re alone because you are attracted to the unavailable. When someone comes along who genuinely wants you, you feel … read the full article

We Are Strongest Where the Breaks Are: Do you have evidence of Post Traumatic Growth?

Is it possible that abandonment has made you stronger? Most people are familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but what about Post Traumatic Growth? Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) is a concept developed over twenty years ago by professors Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun  to identify strengths we pick up from struggling through life’s adversities. When … read the full article

How to Quell Intense Anxiety and Panic

  There’s nothing worse than being suddenly beset with intense anxiety and panic. It’s an emotional hijack — a hostile takeover by the fear center of your brain. The part of you that is usually reasonable and self-reassuring has been momentarily knocked out of commission. You feel out of control, helpless, demoralized by the emotional … read the full article

‘The 36 Questions’ for Falling in Love: What Makes Them Work?

The world is full of love-worthy, eligible people looking for a way out of involuntary singleness. They want to put an end to their cycles of abandonment and find a long-term mutual relationship. They are determined to overcome any self-sabotaging patterns that might stand in their way. Some may be attracted to the unavailable. Some tend to … read the full article

How to Survive a Breakup: 12 Ways to Stop Blaming Yourself and Gain From It

  Click here to view recent articles. No matter the circumstances, on some level we blame ourselves when a relationship ends. We take it as a personal failure. The sorrow of heartbreak is not just about loss, but about self doubt. When rejection is involved in the breakup, it triggers primal rage which we turn against ourselves, … read the full article

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