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Name some of your most infamous Outer Child behaviors.
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After divorce of a very long marriage, with someone who it turned out was bisexual, I played Florence Nightingale for more than a year to another person who had been abandoned, who then suffered a physical breakdown that also became emotional and psychological, and tho it was good I really saved their life, I let myself get involved in an unrequited love relationship with them which was very painful and which only broke when I found they had started going with someone else. Then I got involved with a very exciting whirlwind courtship that ended in the classic committment phobic, controlling frustrating manner, that I still am emotionally hung up on no matter how much I know it is not right for me. Again, it was an emotionally unavailable person, even tho at the beginning seemed to be 50-50. Too naive for my own good, I had never even heard of committment phobia til this relationship started blowing up in my face, but I kept trying to work it out no matter how much it hurt. I often go with my gut, or what seems like "the right thing to do" which is apparently some kind of "outer child" need that is not working to any good in real life...and then I see it later, after getting emotionally hooked in, instead of being cautious and self protecting beforehand...
Posted by: Luccia
9/22/2006
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My outer child is the biggest pain in the butt, because I don't want to act needy and I swear I'm not going to keep calling this guy--and then I do, so I guess it's Outer Child acting out my feelings. Am I right?
Posted by: The One
9/12/2003
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I'm not quite clear about an "outer child" but I do know that I often feel very small in public or anywhere and my decision making is that of a three year old. I get overwhelmed and have to leave or I cry or I reject before rejected... and I tend too take things to personally... it's all about me me me...
Posted by: matilda
7/23/2007
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I'm not quite clear about an "outer child" but I do know that I often feel very small in public or anywhere and my decision making is that of a three year old. I get overwhelmed and have to leave or I cry or I reject before rejected... and I tend to take things to personally... it's all about me me me...
Posted by: matilda
7/23/2007
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I threatened to kill myself in front of my ex.
After that episode my ex got a restraining order which I violated several times trying to get her to talk to me. I actually went to jail one night. Charges were dropped, thankfully, as I was not a danger to anyone but myself.
Posted by: piscesmoon55
11/9/2003
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I had been in an on and off emotionally abusive relationship for 4 years. Over the 4 years I called the police at least 3 times to in an attempt at managing my girlfriend’s abusive behavior. I consciously new this relationship was impossible and had to end; as it was quite obvious to both our friends and family, yet for some reason I couldn't bear the thought of it ending. Anyway, after 4 years of this nightmarish partnership, my girlfriend managed to find someone else for comfort during one of our short off times and confidently informed me that she was ending our relationship for good and withdrawing her love for me. Unable to face the threatening abandonment terror that welled deep within me, I was compelled to play a “final card”. I did what any sane person would do, I asked her to marry me. She agreed; I had bought some time and I was once again saved from facing abandonment terror. We got married two weeks later. I said I had major problems in the relationship up to that point, however they were in fact only a pittance in comparison to the horrors of abuse yet to beset me once married to her.
Posted by: DeserveRespect
1/28/2005
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